I can't deal with drama (even in the bookish community)

Hello my lovelies! It's been a while since the last bookish confessions post, so here we go!

I was talking to LaLa a month or so ago after she had a negative experience with someone on GoodReads. It made me think (- that's right. My brain was doing stuff for once). Things happen every now and then, right? Someone gets trolled on twitter or GoodReads, someone takes offence at something a booktuber or blogger or author or celebrity or someone's pet hamster said. And then a massive storm kicks up about it. These things happen.

But I don't like it!

I love this community with a passion. I have made such amazing friends through blogging and even just on social media.

Seeing people squabbling about things upsets me. There's a way to go about critique and about protest, and about differing opinions. Respect is the operative word, I guess. (I'm not saying we can't discuss. But things have a tendency to go too far and make some people really upset and I just can't, you guys. You know?)

Things I wish didn't actually happen

{This is NOT me calling anyone out or anything. I'm just pointing out a few things with as much respect as I can. Absolutely no blame or judgement here! And I'm really not blaming you for anything. More like, I'd like to know that this upsets others too?}

Name calling. Please, no. Makes me so sad! Especially if someone has a point but then goes on to call someone names or just goes too far and makes things personal. It's the worst! Name calling has never ever helped anyone (except, oddly, Donald Trump, who seems to be celebrated for being offensive and for talking over other people, and whose rhetoric is that of a 13 year-old trying to - anyway).

Being mean or disrespectul on GoodReads. The first time I actually saw this happen made me feel awful - and I can't even imagine how it makes the people who get ...well, bullied - for their opinions, feel. (See how upset this makes me? Convoluted sentences galore!)

Being overly defensive. I understand this so well. I'm super defensive about books I love. But I try to leave people to their opinions. It's not like I can actually affect them, so I might as well leave things be and not stir up annoyance in everyone including myself. Obviously, discussion is fine - discussion is brilliant! Talking about why someone hated a book you loved can be really positive, but it can also be really hard to be objective. But attacking someone else's opinion is never good. It's something you see happen sometimes (I think mostly by trolls on GR?). But no one should ever imply that because someone didn't like a certain book they're wrong or stupid or just don't get it.

All of these things seem like they should be really obvious, right? I'm sure for 99% of us (or 99% of the time) they are. But sometimes whatever feeling gets a hold of us and we go off in a tizzy. That's life, humanity, whatever.

The thing for me is that this is a community that makes me feel safe and valued and appreciated. I hate seeing negativity within that community, even when it's something that'll pass soon.

So really: let's just try to get along (even with people whose opinions we don't share).
How does seeing drama in the community make you feel? Have you experienced anything negative yourself? Obviously no naming names, but I'd love to hear from you!